Many of you may be thinking about or have started toilet learning with your toddler. I want to share some tips and tricks of the trade to help make this time of transition as easy as possible for you and your child.
The first question is, how do you know when your child is ready for toilet learning? Maria Montessori wore many hats: observer, teacher, scientist, and doctor. Much of her work is based on the concept of “sensitive periods,” the time developmentally when a child is best able to develop a new skill. Each area of development has a different sensitive period. For toilet learning, the sensitive period is between 16 months and 3.0 years of age. After that, it often becomes more difficult.
There are some signs that indicate an interest and ability to learn to use the toilet. The first sign is really just an interest in the toilet. Your child may want to sit on the toilet all the time, they may follow you into the bathroom to see what is happening in there, and they may ask questions about using the toilet, such as who uses the toilet and who wears underwear or who wears a diaper? This is the first indication that they are becoming aware that they could try using the toilet, too. Another sign may be that your child has dry diapers when normally they would be wet, such as after a nap or in the morning upon waking. Then, you may notice a very wet, heavy diaper. This indicates that they are “holding it” for longer periods of time, which indicates muscle control. It is around this time that, if offered, they will likely “go” on the toilet.
This is the time to have your child practice pulling up and down their pants, removing their diapers, and sitting on the toilet regularly with each diaper change. Having this become a regular routine will ease the transition of diapers to underwear, as it isn’t some major change of routine, just a minor adjustment to their wardrobe (diapers to underwear).
Once they have successfully used the toilet and you are fairly sure they can control their bladder and bowel movements, you should transition to underwear. I strongly recommend you avoid using pull-ups at any stage of this process. Pull-up style diapers lead to confusion and prolong the toilet learning process. It is not in the best interest of the diaper companies to have your child learn to use the toilet, pull-ups do not facilitate this next developmental step. In fact, the diaper companies lose money when your child learns to use the toilet as they have lost you as a customer. So, although they make it sound like a perfect next step, it really is not very helpful to your child’s toilet learning process.
When your child is ready to use the toilet, the best next step is to use thick cloth training pants. If you are concerned about big accidents, I recommend using the plastic diaper/training pants covers to minimize the leaks. Here is a link to the type of covers I am talking about. I would also recommend a waterproof cover for your car seat as many children relax while riding in the car, causing accidents, and car seat covers are difficult to remove and wash.
Some children are ready for daytime toilet learning but are still unable to stay dry during the night. It is ok to have nighttime diapers if they are regularly wet during the night. If they are often dry in the morning, I recommend training underwear and a waterproof pad under their sheets to protect the mattress from any mistakes.
I will leave you with one last thought. Mistakes happen. Children learn by trying things and making mistakes, so there are bound to be wet and soiled pants. This does not mean they are not ready; it is simply a chance to try again. I often remind parents that their child did not learn to walk without falling down, and they likely will not learn to use the toilet without getting wet on occasion.
– Michele McKale, Toddler House Level Coordinator and Lead Teacher of the Piping Plover Classroom.
